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R.E.M. 12-21-12 Hoax Blown Wide Open

Mayan-Calendar

The American rock band R.E.M. is likely soon to be in custody as word of the band’s hoax reaches the mainstream.  Ever since the band’s first rehearsals in the early 1980’s, their eyes were set not on guitar solos and lyrics but on gaining world power and controlling the thoughts and emotions of the ordinary person.

Sources close to the band, that will remain anonymous due to the level of visibility this hoax has reached, have confirmed these themes from the members of the band.

The early years were quiet as R.E.M. plotted.  It took seven years of the band playing together before they sent their first message to the world.  “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” was that message.  The band did not know the progress that that song would make for their cause.  The song’s success took it to the US Billboard top 100, reaching many ears across the world.

Hidden in the lyrics of that tune, the band carefully planted many seeds into the impressionable minds of young people across America.  One such implant, for example, being the fact that including the title, the word “World” appears 12 times in the song’s lyrics.  In fact, in Leonard Bernstein’s late years, he was a big R.E.M. fan and through his interactions with them desired to help with their overarching scheme.  In another (now) explicit attempt at subliminal messaging, the inclusion of his own name as well as others with the initials “LB” was an attempt to woo the executives at Laurentian’s Bank of Canada which just so happens to trade on the Tokyo Stock Exchange as “LB” into providing funds to the band members.  This attempt unlike the many of the other subliminal messages in the song proved futile.

R.E.M. decided quietly amongst themselves (and Leonard Bernstein) that they wanted to insight panic in the streets, making everyone believe the end of the world was imminent.  In the lyrics, the word “end” is found nine times, three times in chorus which is repeated three times.  Combine this with the 12 mentions of the word “world” and we get precisely 21.  Too much for coincidence.

So how did the Mayan Calendar get brought into all this?  Turns out that the band’s lead vocalist, Michael Stipe, who is rumored to have Mayan blood (<0.01%), who is also an avid painter, was intrigued with the intricacies found in the Mayan calendar one morning in the summer of ’87 while using it in a painting (as a prop or as a paint tray the details are unclear).  When he discovered the date the calendar ran until, he knew this was how the hoax was meant to be run.

Only to prove this point further, open source research has confirmed that there are no websites on the Internet that were created prior to the release of R.E.M.’s “End of the World” song that make mention of the world ending when the Mayan calendar runs out of days, proving this plot to be the genius of the band’s members.

Just days before the “eye of a hurricane” that is the center of the Mayan Calendar causes chaos,  the band is now ousted for their over three decade old plan.  It is now time to hold them accountable.  It’s time they had some time alone.

Please leave all Pulitzer nominations in the comments below…

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