Work Week Haiku
Here are a few haiku that I have been writing throughout the week.
Monday:
Sitting at my desk /
Not quite sure how I got here /
It must be Monday
Tuesday:
The week is still young /
The weekend scent is fading /
Today is Tuesday
Wednesday:
Middle of the week /
Two days gone, two days to go /
Ready, set, Wednesday!
Thursday:
Office mood has changed /
Payday and a light ahead /
Oh happy Thursday!
Friday:
Smiles all around /
Everyone wears jeans all day /
T-G-I-Friday!!!!
![[del.icio.us]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/delicious.png)
![[Digg]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/digg.png)
![[Facebook]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[Fark]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/fark.png)
![[Google]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/google.png)
![[MySpace]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/myspace.png)
![[Reddit]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/reddit.png)
![[Slashdot]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/slashdot.png)
![[Technorati]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/technorati.png)
![[Twitter]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/twitter.png)
![[Email]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/email.png)
The Best of Days
When I woke up this morning, I did not realize how special of a day today would turn into. If I had known what would happen on this very day, my nerves may have kept me in bed all day long, the anticipation too much. Why, today of all days was chosen by the great unknown to be this monumental of a day for me, I do not know.
Today, this morning, around 8:45 am Eastern Standard Time, I filled my water bottle up with the hands-free automatic water dispenser all the way from bottom to top without the water ever turning off.
It was fantastic!
For so long I have been taking my water bottle into the break room each morning after arriving at the office. Sleepily I unscrew the black plastic lid and let it hang to the side of the translucent green ‘LIFELINE’ liter sized water bottle as I make my way to the giant silver beast that is our water dispenser. I do not understand why a machine that has the sole purpose of dispensing ice and water has to be just as large as our GINORMOUS industrial refrigerator. And each morning as I place the water bottle under the touch free water dispenser, I concentrate. “Do not move the bottle…” I tell myself as the quarter-inch diameter stream of water sloshes into the empty bottle. “The water is flowing… do not move the bottle… this is the time… do not move the bottle… this is the…” and that’s when the inevitable occurs. With no apologies of any sorts, the machine cuts off my stream of water. And then to add insult to dehydration, when I do get the water to start flowing back into the water bottle, it splashes whatever was in there before onto my hand or long sleeves.
Now I trust the machine. I am sure that it does not lie and I did indeed move the water bottle a percent of a percent of a millimeter, which caused the electronic eye to think that I was done. But it is such a letdown, and right at the beginning of the work day as well!
I have tried seemingly everything to keep the stream running. Set the bottom of the water bottle on the metal grate, no water. Push the side of the water bottle up against the electronic eye so it must know that the water should be flowing, no water. It just never makes sense.
Today was the day though. Where the metal grate base meets the silver skin of the beast is a little indent, the sweet spot. I set the bottom against the indent and applied a little pressure to keep the water bottle in place. And the water flowed! With the helping support and cooperation of the beast the water bottle slowing started filling. 100mL … 200mL … 300mL … and it kept rising! The water level crept past lines, making its way to the ultimate goal of 1000mL. At about 700mL I started to get really nervous. “Is this the day? I don’t know if I am ready for this?” Past 850mL I think my hands started to shake a little bit. Passing 900mL my palms were getting sweaty and I didn’t know how much longer I could hold on! The last 100mL seemed to take half a lifetime. As the line crept past the 1000mL mark I thought about giving a chant of joy, but decided to restrain myself. Instead, I had the biggest smile. I started off the morning with a great accomplishment. Before removing the water bottle from the now tamed beast’s electronic eye, I thought about savoring the moment even longer and letting the cold refreshing water overrun the mouth of the water bottle. But I had made my peace with the beast. I had it tamed and knew its secrets. Long gone were the days where I would be outsmarted each and every morning.
Today is going to be a good day!
Workplace Waltz
At work, I am not sure how it is even possible, but the corners of the walls between hallways seem to be especially sharp 90 degree turns. Now usually I wouldn’t imagine this being much of an issue. In fact, it gives nice and clean definition between hallways. But it is a whole new world when carrying a cup of coffee.
First off, I have trouble carrying cups of coffee while walking in a straight line. Back in middle school my friends would make fun of me because I bounced when I walked. I blame this on unnaturally large feet. I guess I eventually grew into them, though. I am about 6-1 with size 13 shoes. But I digress.
In addition to the act of carrying a cup of liquid that is not only scolding hot, but also threatens to leave a very large stain on my pants and or shirt with all the hours of the workday to go is probably more intimidating than walking a tight rope while juggling! And this is where the workplace waltz comes into the scene.
As you know, the waltz is a 3-step dance, usually at a quick pace. When walking around the hallways of work, the workplace waltz is a very common defensive move to avoid collisions with other co-workers. Whether you are carrying a cup of coffee or taking a brisk walk to stretch your legs between meetings, those sharp corners can get you. I am a fast walker to begin with. I tend to think that the time it takes to travel to a destination is time wasted (Although I do thoroughly enjoy my commute to and from work as that is my NPR time). As I am walking down the main hallway in my building, which tends to resemble an airport terminal, if I am not walking down the center of the hallway, certain human obstacles tend to jump out from random doorways or hallway connections. You know how this works, someone protrudes perpendicular to you, both of you are at full speed, Isaac Newton lifts his head up to chuckle as his laws have the potential to, yet again, lead to another disastrous and inevitably hilarious collision.
Looking to the side just in time to see another surprised face which undoubtedly mirrors the expression on my own face, I lift my right foot, twist my body and set it behind me so I am now facing at the 45 degree to the object of potential collision, which of course thanks to Newton throws me off balance. While my body threatens to fall and my right foot is now haphazardously planted, I take my left foot and bring it back to my right for step two and some stability. Since my right foot was initially planted without much thought other than “Yikes, avoid the ouchee!” it quickly gets lifted up and planted in a more authoritative position next to the left foot. All the while I have turned my body between 45 degrees and 180 degrees to avoid this collision.
All the energy that my body had in the forward horizontal motion was transferred to a stylish and safe three step workplace waltz.
Now for those of you reading this post, thinking about the near collisions you have had, remember that this is a fairly intermediate maneuver, not recommended for most new hires and interns without proper training. For the sake of workplace safety, there should be collision avoidance training for all new employees in an office building. For those co-workers that have not had this training, they might fall flat on their face, tripping over their feet. Some may just tense up and take the collision.
After mastering the workplace waltz, there are other applications of this maneuver that can take you into an advanced awareness of workplace safety. Remember that scolding hot cup of coffee we chatted about earlier? Well just remember, since your movement/energy is horizontally forward, it is not just your body that will want to keep moving forward, but also the cup of steaming liquid as well. I won’t go into too many details, but just as you transfer your energy into a turn, take consideration of the centrifugal force that you experience on a roller coaster loop or airplane, and angle your coffee cup, so that the liquid level stays level throughout the turn.
Hold those coffee cups away from your bodies, friends. Take those corners in the office cautiously slow. No one wants to spend the work day with big brown stains down their nice collared shirt.
Good luck out there!
Take Your Daughters and Sons to Work Day
Yesterday was “take your child to work day” at Kroger corporate. This meant there were about 80 2nd through high school kids running around my building with more energy than I thought the Sun had to offer. But you know what made it even more entertaining? I was in charge of leading around a number of these little balls of energy!
I had a group of 16 (8 of which showed up) 2nd to 4th grade kids, 4 boys and 4 girls, that I was in charge of bonding with, making them feel comfortable, and leading them around to different stations set up around my building. This being the Information Systems building, all of the stations were geared towards technology. Overall, I had a great time. I like kids and when I feel comfortable enough to be myself around them (when their parents aren’t around watching) I think they enjoy being around me as well.
I updated twitter with a quick tweet about my job for the day, and I received a comment from my 2nd grade teacher through Facebook saying she was never a fan of take your kid to work day. I thought this a bit odd, because even though the day is more of a field trip compared to reading writing and arithmetic, I still feel it is rather educational for both school and home life. A bit later I got another comment from her explaining her thought, that kids have June, July, and August off of school, why do they make the take your child to work day in the middle of the school year? And my response… hmm, good point!
After a little research, I came across this site (http://www.daughtersandsonstowork.org). Apparently, it is a little more than a random day that Kroger decided upon. There is an actual organization behind this that helps organize the day by giving ideas and guidance. The date set for “Take our daughters and sons to work” day is the 4th Thursday of April, apparently. This still didn’t answer the question why this date was the date, however.
I put on my investigative journalism hat on and went to the phones. I called the number provided on their website (1-800-676-7780) and was promptly told to send an email with my inquiry. Ok… so I sent the following email:
Hello,
Yesterday, the fourth Thursday of April, I volunteered and participated in my company’s Take Your Daughters and Sons to Work day. I enjoyed leading the kids around to various stations to learn about the work that we do here at my company each day. However, I do have a question regarding the date chosen for Take Your Daughters and Sons to Work day. When students have the months of June, July, and August on Summer Break, when they have many opportunities to head to a parent’s workplace, why is it that the date chosen was during the school year?
Thank you for taking the time to respond,
Jason
Shortly after, I received this reply:
Hi Jason,
Thanks for writing. I want to be sure you are aware there are many ways to work with the date issue.The date for the program ALWAYS has been the fourth Thursday in April as suggested by teachers and others who were on the advisory committee that helped create program. Some school systems make the Day a teacher's work day, others incorporate the Day in the curriculum (see Broward Co., the fifth largest school system in the nation), on our web site; others make the Day a holiday. Obviously, there are ways to work with the day -- last year over 35 million people participated at over 3 million workplaces spread over every state.
George
TODASTW Foundation
All-in-all the organization didn’t provide a response more than saying “well that’s what it has always been…” I think the next step would be trying and dig up contacts for the said advisory committee that created this official program. But I don’t think this particular issue is worth the hassle.
The argument that I will make for my personal opinion of the matter, is that when a kid gets a day off of school for an out-of-the-ordinary reason, such as take your child to work day, it makes an impression on them. A school might take Memorial Day off of school, but I guarantee the child will remember going to their parents work in more detail than some park festivities. But that’s just me, maybe someday if/when I take my kid to work, it’ll make a little more sense.
White Death Fail
Fail!
For those keeping up, I wrote last night about my 1996 Honda Civic which has over 250K miles on it not starting. Well I am happy to report that the fail in this post is not the car's fault. It is quite the opposite, really. The car gave me hope, showed me that sometimes you just need a little loving. But let's start back at the beginning...
7:15am
Making my way outside, determination fills my mind. I will make it to work! After opening the driver door, the dome light is on. It fills my heart with hope. The key is in the engine... turn... click... silence. A wave of disappointment overwhelms me.
7:25am
Still sitting in a cold, silent, and still car, I take out my phone to email my boss.
"Boss, so far I have my car unburied and tires dug out... but only to find it won't start. Rough week. I'm going to keep working at it."
I had tried everything I could think of to get my little red baby to make her engine purr. I got out of the car and slammed the back door once... twice... three times... four... five times in a row; all testing my theory which I wrote about last night, that slamming the door was like a crank, and the more I did it, the better the battery would do. The silence was deafening.
7:30am
I'm talking to my Civic. "Come on baby... do the locomotion with me..." A few other cars slide past on the road; I can tell my car is embarrassed. "You can do it! I know you can!" Leaving all doors shut, I reach into the back seat and open the door from the inside and give it a good, but loving, slam. I was losing hope, but I didn't want my Civic to see it. I kept a strong face and turned the key, VrOooom... stutter... Gave it gas and let it cough a little. We have a working car! I let out a few cheers, gave my car some love, and let it run for a few minutes.
7:35am - 8:20am
Apparently my wheels were not as "dug out" as I had originally thought. With my car's engine running beautifully, and after a few unsuccessful attempts to roll my car out of its spot on the street, I told her "don't worry, you did your part, I'll do mine, I won't let you down." I lied. During this 45 minutes, I must've gotten in and out of my car over a dozen times, rocking it, getting out to see where I was getting stuck, hacking away at the ice with my hand held windshield scraper. Rinse and repeat, yeah? I was getting no where real quick. This is also after I heard on the radio during my shower this morning that 71 North was shut down at 275 for an accident, so that doubles/triples/quadruples(?) my commute. I was getting frustrated.
After I had been outside for an hour, I decided it might be time to bite the bullet. Picking up my lunch box and water bottle, I reluctantly turned the key backwards and silenced my baby that had treated me so well. "Sorry" I whispered to it.
"Boss, Fail. I got the car started about 10 minutes after that last email... but what I thought was my tires dug out, well not so much. Apparently there is a 1/2 inch of ice coating the road underneath the other snow and ice that's making it very difficult. I spent the next 45 minutes shoveling and rocking the car.
It's a bit frustrating. I doubt I'll be coming into work today. I'll get on Kroger mail here in a few and respond to any emails that have reached me there."
On the brighter side, in response to my post a few days ago about people being silent when its cold out, today was different. The kids that walked by, going to class, were all very friendly in wishing me luck. One guy even told me he saw a shovel a ways down the street leaning up against a telephone poll.
I'll end this post with a letter to my car.
My dear little Civic, I am truly sorry that I failed you. After you pulled through for me, showing me that it just takes a little loving (and possibly ridicule from others), you can succeed. You did not let me down. It was me that let you down. I did not hold up my end of the morning. For that, I am deeply sorry. I know you may not trust me next time I turn the key, thinking I am just teasing you with dreams of the open road. But I hope to regain your trust soon. ~Jason
-
- Note the little green windshield scraper on the hood. That was my tool for all the digging you see
-
- This is our street after the ‘White Death’