The Best of Days
When I woke up this morning, I did not realize how special of a day today would turn into. If I had known what would happen on this very day, my nerves may have kept me in bed all day long, the anticipation too much. Why, today of all days was chosen by the great unknown to be this monumental of a day for me, I do not know.
Today, this morning, around 8:45 am Eastern Standard Time, I filled my water bottle up with the hands-free automatic water dispenser all the way from bottom to top without the water ever turning off.
It was fantastic!
For so long I have been taking my water bottle into the break room each morning after arriving at the office. Sleepily I unscrew the black plastic lid and let it hang to the side of the translucent green ‘LIFELINE’ liter sized water bottle as I make my way to the giant silver beast that is our water dispenser. I do not understand why a machine that has the sole purpose of dispensing ice and water has to be just as large as our GINORMOUS industrial refrigerator. And each morning as I place the water bottle under the touch free water dispenser, I concentrate. “Do not move the bottle…” I tell myself as the quarter-inch diameter stream of water sloshes into the empty bottle. “The water is flowing… do not move the bottle… this is the time… do not move the bottle… this is the…” and that’s when the inevitable occurs. With no apologies of any sorts, the machine cuts off my stream of water. And then to add insult to dehydration, when I do get the water to start flowing back into the water bottle, it splashes whatever was in there before onto my hand or long sleeves.
Now I trust the machine. I am sure that it does not lie and I did indeed move the water bottle a percent of a percent of a millimeter, which caused the electronic eye to think that I was done. But it is such a letdown, and right at the beginning of the work day as well!
I have tried seemingly everything to keep the stream running. Set the bottom of the water bottle on the metal grate, no water. Push the side of the water bottle up against the electronic eye so it must know that the water should be flowing, no water. It just never makes sense.
Today was the day though. Where the metal grate base meets the silver skin of the beast is a little indent, the sweet spot. I set the bottom against the indent and applied a little pressure to keep the water bottle in place. And the water flowed! With the helping support and cooperation of the beast the water bottle slowing started filling. 100mL … 200mL … 300mL … and it kept rising! The water level crept past lines, making its way to the ultimate goal of 1000mL. At about 700mL I started to get really nervous. “Is this the day? I don’t know if I am ready for this?” Past 850mL I think my hands started to shake a little bit. Passing 900mL my palms were getting sweaty and I didn’t know how much longer I could hold on! The last 100mL seemed to take half a lifetime. As the line crept past the 1000mL mark I thought about giving a chant of joy, but decided to restrain myself. Instead, I had the biggest smile. I started off the morning with a great accomplishment. Before removing the water bottle from the now tamed beast’s electronic eye, I thought about savoring the moment even longer and letting the cold refreshing water overrun the mouth of the water bottle. But I had made my peace with the beast. I had it tamed and knew its secrets. Long gone were the days where I would be outsmarted each and every morning.
Today is going to be a good day!
![[del.icio.us]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/delicious.png)
![[Digg]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/digg.png)
![[Facebook]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[Fark]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/fark.png)
![[Google]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/google.png)
![[MySpace]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/myspace.png)
![[Reddit]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/reddit.png)
![[Slashdot]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/slashdot.png)
![[Technorati]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/technorati.png)
![[Twitter]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/twitter.png)
![[Email]](http://www.pwlk.net/blog/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/email.png)
Workplace Waltz
At work, I am not sure how it is even possible, but the corners of the walls between hallways seem to be especially sharp 90 degree turns. Now usually I wouldn’t imagine this being much of an issue. In fact, it gives nice and clean definition between hallways. But it is a whole new world when carrying a cup of coffee.
First off, I have trouble carrying cups of coffee while walking in a straight line. Back in middle school my friends would make fun of me because I bounced when I walked. I blame this on unnaturally large feet. I guess I eventually grew into them, though. I am about 6-1 with size 13 shoes. But I digress.
In addition to the act of carrying a cup of liquid that is not only scolding hot, but also threatens to leave a very large stain on my pants and or shirt with all the hours of the workday to go is probably more intimidating than walking a tight rope while juggling! And this is where the workplace waltz comes into the scene.
As you know, the waltz is a 3-step dance, usually at a quick pace. When walking around the hallways of work, the workplace waltz is a very common defensive move to avoid collisions with other co-workers. Whether you are carrying a cup of coffee or taking a brisk walk to stretch your legs between meetings, those sharp corners can get you. I am a fast walker to begin with. I tend to think that the time it takes to travel to a destination is time wasted (Although I do thoroughly enjoy my commute to and from work as that is my NPR time). As I am walking down the main hallway in my building, which tends to resemble an airport terminal, if I am not walking down the center of the hallway, certain human obstacles tend to jump out from random doorways or hallway connections. You know how this works, someone protrudes perpendicular to you, both of you are at full speed, Isaac Newton lifts his head up to chuckle as his laws have the potential to, yet again, lead to another disastrous and inevitably hilarious collision.
Looking to the side just in time to see another surprised face which undoubtedly mirrors the expression on my own face, I lift my right foot, twist my body and set it behind me so I am now facing at the 45 degree to the object of potential collision, which of course thanks to Newton throws me off balance. While my body threatens to fall and my right foot is now haphazardously planted, I take my left foot and bring it back to my right for step two and some stability. Since my right foot was initially planted without much thought other than “Yikes, avoid the ouchee!” it quickly gets lifted up and planted in a more authoritative position next to the left foot. All the while I have turned my body between 45 degrees and 180 degrees to avoid this collision.
All the energy that my body had in the forward horizontal motion was transferred to a stylish and safe three step workplace waltz.
Now for those of you reading this post, thinking about the near collisions you have had, remember that this is a fairly intermediate maneuver, not recommended for most new hires and interns without proper training. For the sake of workplace safety, there should be collision avoidance training for all new employees in an office building. For those co-workers that have not had this training, they might fall flat on their face, tripping over their feet. Some may just tense up and take the collision.
After mastering the workplace waltz, there are other applications of this maneuver that can take you into an advanced awareness of workplace safety. Remember that scolding hot cup of coffee we chatted about earlier? Well just remember, since your movement/energy is horizontally forward, it is not just your body that will want to keep moving forward, but also the cup of steaming liquid as well. I won’t go into too many details, but just as you transfer your energy into a turn, take consideration of the centrifugal force that you experience on a roller coaster loop or airplane, and angle your coffee cup, so that the liquid level stays level throughout the turn.
Hold those coffee cups away from your bodies, friends. Take those corners in the office cautiously slow. No one wants to spend the work day with big brown stains down their nice collared shirt.
Good luck out there!
What are they advertising?
American Apparel ads are always a little bit goofy. The images shown are of what I would consider the stereotype, artistic people. You know, those folks that like to dress a little differently.
I have nothing against American Apparel. In fact, I really like the way their tshirts fit me. Whenever I order a shirt from shirt.woot.com, I am typically happy when it arrives.
I came across this ad today while reading some news:
American Apparel Ad I randomly came across while browsing the news
Now at first, you wouldn't think much of it. But read everything on the ad. Men's Pique Tennis Shirt? Really. If this is a men's shirt, why is a woman wearing it? Now yes, that was a question I already know the answer to.
Oh crazy online ads...
Saving the world, take me out to the ball game
Call up Miss America, I have the solution to world peace.
Two words: The Wave
Now there is not a single person out there on the interwebs that is going to be able to convince me that the wave would not create world peace. Think about it. You are at a baseball game, both teams have fans in the stands, yelling and screaming, chearing their own team and cursing the other.
And then some guy steps down in front of section 310 and looks like he's doing the shout dance. But he's not doing a dance, no, he is taking charge of the entire stadium. He counts off and raises his hands in the air. A few people follow and the wave dies before it begins. He of course goes again though. Every time he tries, the wave gets a little bigger. You, sitting over in section 302 see the drama occurring a few sections over and a bit of excitement grabs a hold of you. You anxiously wait and hope that the wave makes it to your section. And, my friend, let me assure you, you are not the only one in this position. Most every eye within the area has made its way to the beginning of the wave.
Eventually, the wave is a few people too large for section 310 and it overflows to the next section. Once it has travelled a few sections, the rest of the stadium has started to take notice, and they are feeling the excitement that you felt a few moments ago. The wave hits your section and you wait for the perfect moment to stand up, flail your arms in the air, with a big "WHOAAAA!"
As the wave travels past, you and your friends are all smiles, hoping to everything holy that the wave will make it all the way around the stadium so you can partake in its glory, once again.
So here's the game game plan folks. It is really quite simple. We just need a world-wide-wave. Line everyone up, in as many rows needed to get everyone involved. Whether the rows go around the world, outline a country, follow the Nile, whatever it takes, we just start a huge wave. We could start a wave in each continent, country, state, city, etc... so people don't get bored while they wait. But that is really it.
Back in high school marching band, we also did the roller coaster during football games. Have you ever done it? Everyone puts their hands above their heads and acts like they are climbing a roller coaster hill, then everyone makes all their turns together screaming like crazy, following one leader up front. Well maybe that will be stage two of world peace.
Now I'm curious, though, I wonder what the world record for the fastest human wave ever has traveled...
Would we be smarter in a warmer climate?
Have you ever noticed that weather causes a specific ambiance of noise? I'm not talking about the sound of raindrops on roses. Nor am I talking about wind rustling leaves on a tree. I am talking about the atmosphere created by weather.
Imagine a morning not unlike this morning here in Cincinnati. A soft layer of snow covered the ground as I walked to class while the temperature hung right around 16 ºF. A bit cold, but no real wind to complain about.
Now imagine a morning in September. A morning when classes are beginning for the school year. A nice 70 ºF day with easy breeze. Shorts and T-shirt day for sure.
Walking down the same sidewalk, going to the same class, the same people around going to their same classes. The atmosphere is completely different. I understand that people don't want to stay out in the cold longer than they have to, but the stark silence that was across campus was almost spooky. There must've been 150 people walking around the sidewalk about 7 minutes before class began, and not a sound was to be heard.
Looking from person to person, expressions mirrored their voices. Nothing. Silence accompanied by expressionless. Heads tilted to the ground, only aware of the 10 feet in front of them, blinders on for the sides, in their own world of cold.
If we have an out-of-the-ordinary spring day now in the middle of January, campus would be completely different. People would be outside throwing frisbees and chatting about anything.
This makes me wonder about the quality of education and the life experience you receive from a University that is in a cold location. If Cincinnati was 73 ºF every day year round, would people be more social, in better moods, more well rested, more willing to leave the house to go to class and pay attention to the material. Or, would people use the nice weather as an excuse to skip classes and be outside instead of working through homework?
You have to consider the schools you think of as the 'smart' schools and where they are located. MIT and Harvard are both in Boston, cold. I took a look at the first page I could find that ranked public Universities. I am not sure of the criteria they use, but let's go ahead and work with this list.
- University of California - Berkeley (Berkeley, CA)
- University of Virginia (Charlottesville, VA)
- University of California - Los Angeles (Los Angeles, CA)
- University of Michigan (Ann Arbor, MI)
Ok... so apparently if we look at the top four universities, there doesn't appear to be any correlation between temperature and quality of school. In fact, these four universities are so different, location-wise, that I'm not sure anything can be deduced from the list.
So there we have it... a useless blog post 