And this one here, I don’t actually recall ever seeing before, but in Navy spirit, wanted to post it.

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Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last …
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget!

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The outcome more times than not is really funny. Let me give you an example of one of my favorites I have found so far:

Without including Japanese, Chinese, and Korean… the following can be found
Original English Text: –> Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess.
Translated to French: –> Il était une fois il y avait une belle princesse.

Translated back to English: –> It was once there was a beautiful princess.

Translated to German: –> Es war, sobald es eine schöne Prinzessin gab.

Translated back to English: –> It was, as soon as there was a beautiful princess.

Translated to Italian: –> Era, non appena ci era una principessa bella.

Translated back to English: –> It was, not hardly was one beautiful prince.

Translated to Portuguese: –> Era, era não mal um príncipe bonito.

Translated back to English: –> It was, was not badly a pretty prince.

Translated to Spanish: –> Era, no era gravemente príncipe bonito.

Translated back to English: –> It was, was not seriously pretty prince.

Good stuff, right?

I have gone ahead and created a form on this post for you to do your funky translations, but I highly suggest you check out the original post.

Have fun!

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(http://www.pawlak.ws/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/hippo_dwarf.gif)

snopes

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